Zombie Dicks & Social Commentary: Boyle Still Got It

Everyone dies.

Not in the movie, in general. I love that—no spoilers, just facts. Some of us go sooner, some of us later, and the commentary in both films, although touching on the same subject, sits on opposite ends of the spectrum. Where in The Monkey, the horrific tone was softened by a positive message of nihilism, here we get the opposite of that reality—at least until the end. It’s all about when and how, which remains your choice for the most part. Like the choice Jodie Comer's Isla made when she gave up because of the pain and the even more painful fate that awaited her. Knowing the when and how can certainly shorten the trip for many of us, and here Isla chose the easy way out, given the knowledge she possessed.

Speaking of knowledge, some of the commentary was right on point. The ones who survived were the happiest—yet also more prepared—and those who lacked skills met death sooner.

Did you catch the fat guys? They were slow, and their deaths were some of the quickest. They were already dead, moving their bodies at the tempo of a snail, only to get shot in the afterlife. The whole movie is right on the nose with the social commentary but never crosses the line into preaching. Show, don’t tell.

How about the alpha, with the biggest dick I’ve seen in a while? Boy, it was hard to distinguish this guy was a zombie when that cadonkadonk was snapping in front of my face. Here too, the muscular, aggressive alpha type was portrayed as a brutal force that never made it. Dead like the fat guy, unable to control his instincts—or his dick—he was easily controlled. What a dick, man. I mean, I’m jealous. They had to use 20+ Iphones to capture it.

And what about the pregnant lady? She probably got pregnant from that thing—I mean, the dick. The actor was also very handsome. I mean, with such a tail, who cares if you eat people and you’re unimaginably dangerous or infectious? Back to his zombie wife, who delivered a pure baby—like all of us. We come into this world pure, like a blank canvas, and what happens to us afterward is what makes the picture clear, dirty, or gray.

The social commentary doesn’t end there. The whole movie follows a boy who is pushed by his people to grow up quickly in order to survive in this dangerous world. The guy who comes at the end with his band and the matching tracksuits is that boy—forcefully separated from his family, learning to survive, finding his own tribe. I mean, those tracksuits are a nice merge right there. Shut up and take my money! Spike, who made the choice himself, met those bastards—which often happens in real life. We tend to find other damaged people with similar habits and traumas, and we form friendships with them because we recognize ourselves in them. What’s familiar feels safer. Both fathers of those boys may have played different roles in society, but ultimately had similar effects on their young kids.

The soldier, Erik, never really grew up—because of his upbringing, profession, and short-sightedness, which blinded him and put him into the hands of the biggest dick I’ve seen in a while. This alpha was something else.

The Monkey left us with a feeling of hopefulness—to give in to the inevitable with a smile—while 28 Years Later showed us that no matter the fate, we can still participate in the when and how in a much darkerway.

I love both Trainspottings, The Beach, and I even liked that movie with James Franco. The other day I watched 28 Weeks Later just because it popped up on Netflix, and it still holds up. I loved this pairing between Boyle and Alex Garland, who’s responsible for a lot of hits. And here, this mix—together with the performances of the actors, who were impeccable—created an amazing zombie movie that surprised me, shocked me, gave me a lot to think about, and showed me one of the biggest dicks I’ve ever seen.

What more can I ask for? Go watch it.

Iliya Badev