Review of 'Eat, Pray, Love' by Elizabeth Gilbert

Something about these cheesy stories and the way they are told doesn't sit right with me. Still, if I force myself, I can find problems with both the book and the movie. Regardless of my natural negative reactions, I found myself loving the book. Like with music and sometimes TV shows or movies, art in general, most of the books I read come at the right moment in life, answering my dramas, preparing me for something, or just providing that sweet escapism we all look for at some point.

The author began her journey while living in misery with her husband, whom she was trying to divorce. Eventually, she escaped to search for herself in several beautiful locations. Even though I watched the movie, I barely have memories of it. Now, when I think about it, there is this warm feeling.

I can still remember the pictures the author painted in my mind about the places she visited. I needed some time to adjust to Elizabeth Gilbert, but where I related to her was in her struggles and pain. As soon as she opened up about everything she felt, no matter how crazy it may sound, she became real, and by the end, I was resonating with her journey. She tackles many topics that are close to me, such as how our inevitable unhappiness lies between our needs and the suffocating cage that is society. The book’s wisdom progresses as the pages turn, and I found myself much more interested and focused once I finished "Eat" and began with "Pray" and "Love." I guess the book had this calming effect that, after a while, helped me clear my mind and focus on what the author was going for.

We can't see our own reflection in running water, so after a while, I was calm and still, ready to take a look inside myself and reflect. It is so important to know what you want, but also to drift chaotically in this world, which happens very often in order to find ourselves. Both conditions are undeniably connected, and through them, you find who you are again and again. One of the techniques that the author shared regarding her negative thoughts resonated with me: whenever the chemical imbalance takes charge of my mind, I stop the dark thoughts by saying that I am not a harbor for those mind attacks and release them before they become too powerful. At this point in the book, I started to realize how helpful it was. This technique served as a shield for me in the next couple of weeks, and I adopted it whenever I spiraled into negative assumptions about the people I care about.

Whenever I become this spiraling negative person, assuming the worst of people, probably because of early trauma regarding abandonment and betrayal, I become another person. This entity looks familiar but is so far from who I was that I had to do something about it. Now, when I assume that someone is a cheater or liar, I just stop the thought and choose to let it go. Sometimes the fight is hard; there is no one more convincing than my negative self, always coming with facts and connecting the dots that serve as undeniable proof that he is right. Battling your worst traits is one of the greatest battles. Sometimes I feel like I am winning, and other times I go back to Loserville and stay there until I ruin relationships and change directions. Repeating this mantra—that I am not a harbor for the negative and bad thoughts that make me sick—helped me. Now I am able to trust the people around me more, trust myself more, and I feel happier while focusing on the good in the relationships I have.

The best we can do to deal with the chaos around us and within us is to try to balance ourselves, no matter how crazy life seems to be. Most of the pain in the world is caused by hurt, sad people, shares the author. Trying to overcome our inner hurt could change the world around us. Not to mention, the people closest to us often suffer the most. Changing this cycle of pain and getting out of this constantly repeating circle should be priority number one. Yet now, at 32, I look behind me and see the repetition of my big mistake as a never-learning lesson that is waiting to be overcome. Sometimes I feel like the person I was before doesn't exist, and some days I feel like there was never anybody else. Life is confusing. But words have the power to create reality, and whatever we repeat to ourselves often we conjure. So I’ll continue being careful and not letting my negative self, my inner saboteur, like RuPaul calls him, drive. He also says that it’s okay to let him take the wheel for a while, but never for long.

Diving into different cultures transforms our world. Lately, I have been communicating with an Arab man who is a believer, a Muslim. It is so refreshing for a person like me to talk with someone of faith. No matter how I feel about God and religion, it is a breath of fresh air to find someone faithful, full of different life experiences, yet containing so many similarities. I ask him constantly about his culture, and he is kind enough to answer and show me. Believe it or not, the key to any culture can be found in food, music, and language. Those three are general enough and map the vast everyday life of the majority of people in this world. I use them to unlock the mysteries around others because sometimes they have this wall around them, and most of the time we live in our own bubbles, forgetting how rich this world is. Getting to know this guy is one of the most interesting experiences right now.

Elizabeth shares a story about Saint Anthony and how he started to see many hallucinations in the desert of angels and demons, and how some angels took the form of demons and some demons looked like angels. He was only able to recognize which was which by the way they made him feel after they left. If you are terrified, scared, etc., then you had an encounter with a devil. If you are inspired, happy, etc., you have met an angel. I found this crazy story to be so profound. For some people, we are demons; for others that we make happy, we are angels. Our choice is to stay with those who make us feel good after they are not with us.

After all, if you are ready for what a book is going to unlock for you, you will see it. We see the world through our eyes and find meanings that are needed for the time we are in right now. This book made me feel good.

Iliya Badev